Beauty Booty: Bodacious Bras

A few weeks ago, it got ridiculously warm in Michigan — warm enough to wear a tank top in public. Amazing, right?! But it made me realize I needed to update my bra situation.

A little background: I just love lingerie. I have terrible lingerie karma though; as soon as I buy a gorgeous bra, I inevitably get dumped. It sucks. But I used to work at Victoria’s Secret. I was a “Certified Bra Specialist.” I actually loved working there because I think having a good bra is pretty important and I really loved helping people find the perfect one for them in the perfect size (cause, yeah, most women wear the wrong size). I also worked with the guy who would eventually become my other half and soul mate, David Brown. We would work the register in our matching black suits and people weren’t sure if we were related, or dating, or what. We’ve since determined that I’m basically the post-op tranny version of David.

So my recent bra trip was more about function than fantasy! I needed warm-weather bras. Because I used to work at VS, I know all the styles and I’m pretty picky about which ones I like. But I thought I’d share some of my favorites and my new summer obsession!

I used to always swear by the Body by Victoria shaping demi because it is a great everyday T-shirt bra.

It gives you these total, “Oh, I’m just the girl next door who suddenly started taking cattle hormones!” …like great boobs. Every time I wore it, my gay guy friends would be like, “Your boobs look awesome.” And my straight guy friends would just say, “Hm…I really like your T-shirt.” What, this old thing?! It’s sooo not the T-shirt.

Then I got to MSU and got all sorostastic and decided I needed more cleavage. I decided to upgrade (emphasis on the UP) to the bestselling push-up, the Very Sexy.

I was sold. Cause, well, Hey, girl, heyyy!

I mean, at times, the cleavage this bra produces actually makes my friends a little speechless, but…it’s fun!

Every girl needs a good strapless, so I went with the Very Sexy strapless.

It really stays up and it gives the best cleavage I’ve ever seen from a strapless. (So, not a ton, but better than going braless and looking like a 10-year-old boy.)

And I love their sports bras too! They have a really great, snug fit. This is what I wore for the marathon and for spinning because they really wick sweat.

Uniboob? Yes, it even happens to models…but the fun colors and sweat-wicking make up for it, so I’ll deal.

By now I have acquired a pretty ridiculous bra wardrobe, but last month, I wanted to get a new Very Sexy push-up because I really just like my boobs rockin’ everywhere, in lots of fun colors. Unfortunately, they had no good colors in my size. Luckily, I discovered the new Body by Victoria push-up.

OMG. This bra is amazing! It has the cleavage of the Very Sexy, but the more natural look of the Body by Victoria. The effect is the most bodacious boobs ever. I seriously feel like a pin-up girl in this one. Delicious.

But what I really wanted for summer was a racerback. I like my strapless, but it leaves me more flat chested than I’d like. If I’m wearing a low-cut tank to any place where I might end up meeting a cute guy (which is a lot of places!) I don’t want to look like my little brother. I figured a racerback was the solution. I found a Body by Victoria racerback but it wasn’t a push-up. Hmm…trade-off. Then I found the answer to all my problems: the basic cotton push-up.

VS totally neglects this line of bras, which is why I never tried them. That’s a shame because they are awesome! First of all, they cost half of what a normal bra at VS costs. Second, they are just as comfy and curvy as the Body by Victoria (I think the difference is the cup is a little less molded and the lining is slightly thinner). But best of all: they all come with a little hook-and-eye on the straps so they can all be made into a racerback!

This bra has totally made my summer! I can now wear cute tank tops and have great cleavage. Plus, it’s not so pricey, so I don’t have to worry as much about abusing it during the sultry (sweaty) dog days of summer.

So yeah, since I’m a “bra specialist” — one who used to have to wear those hideous functional wide strap bras to deal with my formerly huge boobs — I thought I’d share my selections! Whichever bra you choose though, I have to say: please do not buy white. White bras are the bane of my existence. Girls used to like, cry in the dressing rooms but I would not allow it. They’d get all, “But I need it for white T-shirtsssss! Nude bras are ugggllllyyy!” I concur they are ugly (white bras are too; they look like orthopedic shoes to me). Still, match your bra to your skin, not your shirt. Just like avoiding visible panty lines, you gotta make some sacrifices. Otherwise, yes…I’m silently judging you.

Tagged as: boobs, bras, cleavage, grooming, outer beauty, sports bras