This Is The New Year

Oh, heyyyyyy, 2010! WELCOME TO OUR LIVES!!!

OK so this is likely going to come as a shock but I hate New Year’s Eve. I think it’s totally overrated. I believe it’s more of a couple’s holiday than Valentine’s Day. (And I manage to LOVE Valentine’s Day, even though I’m always single.) I always try so hard to have fun on NYE but no matter what I do, I regret going out. I think it’s a waste of money, waste of a dress, waste of a morning because of the hangover. HATE.

But I love the idea of it, don’t get me wrong! When I’m older and have a house, I plan to have a NYE party with amazing food and drinks; we’ll play outrageous games of charades, everyone can spend the night, and on New Year’s Day I’ll make brunch and it’ll be just like the Magic Bullet infomercial. We’ll all talk about our resolutions and be full of good cheer!

But until then…sorry, not leaving the couch!

This year, I had some lovely invites, but I decided to be true to myself and not go out. And…finally…it was the best NYE I’ve ever had.

So I’ve considered getting a tattoo before, but I never have, simply because I didn’t know what I’d want or where I’d want it. I like them, and I like the idea of them, especially meaningful ones (no flaming skull tramp stamp here, SORRY), but I didn’t know what I’d want. Even this summer, when I was in the midst of a very big life shift, I thought I’d like one to sort of mark that, but I had no idea what was right for me. But…not a pressing issue.

So, about a week ago, I was running on the treadmill, doing an 8-mile training run — one of my last ones — and thinking about the marathon. The Matchbox 20 song “How Far We’ve Come” was on, and, OK, yes, Rob Thomas is a douche bag, but that song is pretty damn uplifting. So I was thinking about 2009…and my life…and my “before” pics…and I was just so intensely proud in that moment. I have never felt stronger, or more confident, or more bad ass.

At the beginning of 2009 I had talents that were meaningless in a “glamorous” job I wasn’t passionate about. It wasn’t that I was terribly unhappy; it’s just that I was lacking pleasure in all aspects of my life, and my flame was burning very, very low. And then this crazy series of events happened and I ended up back in Michigan, which is the last place I wanted to be…but it was like a dose of pure oxygen to the flame. Once I started writing again, and writing about things I loved and was passionate about, everything started to realign. I started cooking again, making goals, reaching out to the friends who encouraged my passions…and then I started training for the marathon! And now, with the training done, I cannot overstate how much that shaped the last part of 2009. Everything fell into place, and for me, the root of it was the training. It was not the running. It was the training. Running is a workout. Training has a purpose. So all that together…it was like I became my own forest fire! And this is how I like to be.

So anyway, Matchbox 20 was playing and I don’t know why or how, but at that moment, I just tuned into my own power and femininity, like, to the 30th degree. I can’t explain it but I just felt so good about my body so I had this overwhelming urge to like…mark it somehow. And I knew right then what I wanted my tattoo to say and where I wanted it to go. And I knew it was going to happen on New Year’s.

2009 wasn’t a “great” year so much as it was a very important year. It is a year that is going to be another “before” and “after.” I did a lot of things in 2009 to lay the foundation for what I want to do in the future. So, yes, I hate New Year’s Eve but I knew this one was important. I’m kissing good-bye a year that was so unbelievably unpredictable, but ultimately what I just had to experience. And 2010 is going to be epic.

I told some friends about the tattoo and they were surprised, probably because it wasn’t a question. Live in a sorority house for two years and you stop making decisions on your own. And I’m reallllly indecisive as it is. But this wasn’t a request for approval. It was a declaration, not a discussion.

So, last night, to the tattoo parlor I went! My mom was there to give me some artistic input, and for the first cut, so to speak, but then she peaced out to go buy our new fridge. It was just me, and my body, and the artist.

And it was so lovely to have an artist working on me, painting the skin that I finally feel comfortable in. I was half-naked in the tattoo parlor with ridiculously intense animals screaming in pain music and yet I felt like The Birth of Venus.

The tattoo is three Latin words on my left side, a few inches from my boob, right where my bra band sits. And you may think, “But no one will see it there.” I know…and it’s not that I don’t want people to see the tattoo, but it really is for me. I could have made it more visible, but I just didn’t connect with another part of my body like this one. It’s a private spot, and it’s an undeniably sexy, feminine spot, a spot that I’ll see every day, where there is a little decoration to constantly remind me of that moment on the treadmill. And last year. This year. Next year? Whatever…this moment!

Valetudo: health, good health.

Venustas: loveliness, charm, beauty.

Voluptas: passion, pleasure, delight, satisfaction.

I love it. Love it. Love, love, love.

(Did it hurt? Um, I run 18 miles and get Brazilian waxes. No, it didn’t fucking hurt.)

After the tattoo, I came home and had a major dance party with my brother (my dance moves giving more cred to the theory that I might actually be Kelly from “The Office”). We had take-out and wine for dinner. And at midnight, I was updating my Vision Board to reflect everything I want for 2010 and watching “Julie and Julia,” one of the happiest, most inspiring movies ever.

No champagne. No noisemakers. No kiss. Just a deep sense of “Wow, I made it” satisfaction, and a lovely sense of anticipation for what 2010 is bringing.

Cheers, dears!

Tagged as: 2010 is going to be epic, Body Image, goals, holidays, Motivation Conversations, positive attitude, positive thinking, rewards