About the Ta-Tas

Well, as you probably know by now, it’s October and that means it’s Breast Cancer Awareness month! Boobs are all over the media right now (well, as if they ever aren’t!) so I thought it might be a good to talk about them! I’m pretty aware of my breasts…well, what’s left of them anyway.

I mentioned this in my “About Me,” but after getting quite a few e-mails on the subject, I figured I might as well just bare all (so to speak) and post on the subject of my breast reduction surgery! (But sorry pervs — no pictures.)

So, when I hit the lovely time in every young girl’s life known as “Holy shit, why am I so awkward?” I got boobs! Big ones! I wasn’t even aware that they were that big at first, until I realized that many of my little Catholic school friends could wear simple undershirts well into eighth grade yet I was getting creepy stares from much older men when I was at the mall with my mom. But when you’re 13 years old and you’re me, you like things that are supposed to make you prettier, so I didn’t experience any major self-image issues from the attention. (And to be honest, it wasn’t like the captain of the football team was asking me out. Big boobs actually only make you super hot when you’re white, blonde, nice, and in a teen movie about loss of virginity.) I just joked about them, because, well, I joke about everything!

I was still playing sports at the time (cheerleading and softball) and the chest was no picnic. I mean, jumping up and down at pep rallies? It’s a miracle I didn’t hit myself in the face. It was a hassle, but luckily those sports don’t involve a ton of running, so I managed. But then I went to a seriously intense theater camp when I was 16. Annnnnd….we had a problem. You wouldn’t think that theater camp would be what did me in, but the Cherubs program at Northwestern University is incredibly physical. We ran from sun up to sun down. We were up at 8 am, running to the beach for our insanely hard yoga routine, after which we’d do hundreds of jumping jacks. When you have big boobs, jumping jacks are the worst. Thing. Ever. So embarrassing, so painful. I think this was when I started wearing two sports bras.

The “camp” was super physical because they taught us that acting is about being able to completely use your body, and you can’t truly use your body until you exhaust it and make it strong. I agree with that…but it was so hard to use my body when I had this major physical limitation. I felt like it limited what kind of roles I could get and just my overall…everything! By then I had gained weight, and of course some went to my chest. And even though I made attempts to get in shape, I had a serious bounce problem which was extremely discouraging. I couldn’t find bras that could handle me, and my narrow back was struggling to support my chest. I had the classic sore back and the angry red bra lines. I just knew that if I ever had the means, I’d probably have surgery.

My senior year of high school, a coworker of my mom’s had surgery and her insurance paid for it. Since I was covered under the same insurance, I decided to investigate my options and I went to her doctor. I told him my story during our consultation and he said he could do it and my insurance would probably cover it. When I found out it would be covered, it was a HUGE motivator for me. It was kind of like, well I want this…why not? My doctor had to take out a certain amount of tissue and let them know I had back problems to get them to cover it, but I was incredibly lucky — it was not a problem at all!

Soooo…I had it done five days after I turned 18 without giving it a ton of thought! (That’s how I am with big decisions; however, when it comes to what color pedicure to get, I think it over for days.) In terms of recovery, I did very well. It was summer and I took about a week to chill in bed. I have a pretty high pain tolerance but I took Vicodin regularly for the first few days and felt pretty much fine. I was a little sore, but definitely not in any intense “Um, is there a semi truck sitting on my chest?” pain. To be honest, the worst thing is it’s kind of grisly looking — stitches, some yucky drainage. My grandma is a nurse and she helped me deal with my bandages (my mom is squeamish and couldn’t handle it). After about a week I went back to my normal activities and was amazed by how different my body looked. My posture was immediately very different.

It took a little while for all the swelling to go down. It wasn’t terrible swelling, like when you see someone after they get implants and just think, “Ouch!” but it was present. They say it can take a year to completely go away; I was losing weight at the same time so it’s kind of hard to say for sure. I didn’t have a boyfriend at the time (surprise, surprise) so I can’t really speak to how the whole sex thing works out immediately following, but I can say that I got naked within a few months after surgery and all was good.

One thing I loved about my doctor is that he specialized in hand surgery, so he made very, very small stitches. A big concern for a lot of people is scarring, which is valid. If you’re considering getting it done, ask the surgeon to see pictures of past surgeries. I’ve since seen pictures where they cut a LOT and I probably would have been scared away by those. My surgeon uses very small incisions that sort of resemble an anchor: around the nipple, a short straight line down, and a very small line under the breast (so you can’t really even see it). Oh, there’s also an incision on each side (kind of below your arm pit) where the drain goes. Those took the longest to disappear for me. I scar pretty easily, but now you really can’t tell I’ve had anything done — I could probably go on Girls Gone Wild, if I were so inclined. On a serious note, my gynecologist was also impressed by the lack of scar tissue, which is a concern because it can make it more difficult to feel lumps down the line.

My first bras after the surgery were 38D (I started with 40DD I believe, give or take a letter?) and then eventually I got down to 38C, and then 36C, which is a size I am perfectly happy with! It’s the right size for my frame. Also, the years working at Victoria’s Secret made me skilled in what the right bra can do for you, and I have to say, these days I rock pretty spectacular cleavage when at the bar…and I’m still as flat as a boy when I am running.

I’ve talked to a lot of my friends whose moms are in their 40s, thinking about getting it done but still putting it off. I just wanted to do it while I was young because I knew my back problems would only get worse as I got older, and my boobs would likely get even bigger when I got pregnant (as boobs tend to d0) in a decade or so. Later I met quite a few girls in my sorority who’d also had it done, and they have all been happy with the results. I don’t really see the point of putting it off.

I honestly can’t remember now what my body was like before I had surgery. I started exercising a couple months later, and haven’t stopped ever since! That was big for me. It was also the beginning of huge changes in my life. I’m not saying a surgery can change your life, but in my case, it played a very big part.

If you’re tired of wearing two bras and thinking of having it done, the best advice I can give you is to do your research and find a surgeon who you trust and who does good work. That’s what I did and I’ve never looked back! The biggest downside is that if I ever meet a guy with a certain, ah, shall we say…fetish for things you can do to a girl’s cleavage, mine don’t touch anymore! So if you’re seriously dying to get t*tty f*ckd….you should probably get that out of your system sooner rather than later. Just saying.

Tagged as: before and after, boobs, bras, breasts, confidence, Extreme Makeover, plastic surgery, self-image